Let them be bored!
Boredom tends to be negatively viewed in our society: many parents will do every thing to avoid their children get bored (and thus throw a tantrum or being « difficult”) and we as a collective will look for short-term solutions, such as looking at our phones, playing a video game or even eat some snacks to compensate and give our brain a much needed dopamine boost. We are becoming attention- addict and increasingly less able to deal with frustration or in touch with our inner world.
Yes, boredom is frustrating, yet it should not be avoided but rather embraced.
What is boredom?
Professor J. Eastwood and colleagues at York University in Canada have studied boredom for years and are defining it as « The aversive experience of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity ». See this very interesting article. (https://psychwire.com/free-resources/q-and-a/16loq2a/the-science-of-boredom)
In other words, being bored means we are looking for an interesting activity but are not capable to focus on any in a satisfying manner; nowadays we tend to look for external stimuli and as result we get even more out of touch with our inner world.
Why is being bored important?
Childs and adults alike can benefit from being bored from time to time and find ways to cope with it without rushing to the new thrill or the last screen. Indeed, boredom can help us in particular:
know better what we want / what we need (and not only what we think or made think we need),
kids in particular need time to reach to their inner resources and find what interest them at that moment of their lives,
give a brain a rest and
take the overstimulation down a notch,
avoiding cognitive overload by screen,
giving a toy every time kids look bored or fill them too many activities might teach them that life needs to be endlessly interesting,
let your brain time to sort out information and memories,
boost creativity,
giving our brain the opportunity to work without a clear goal and reach to deeper resources or ideas,
learn how to take time doing things, put things into perspective and just being.
How to embrace boredom?
The goal is not to make boredom productive but to change our vision about it. Being bored from time to time can be beneficial and we should appreciate it instead of being negative about it.
Changing the narrative about boredom is key: let’s look at it as an important experience to meet ourselves. Next time you or your kids are bored, tell yourself / them:
That is a wonderful opportunity to reach into ourselves to find nice ideas to do, even if it takes some time,
That is a great time to stop doing and rather be present, look around us, observe in a sort of meditative space.
